It's been 1 year

Looking back over the last year is very heartbreaking, and hopeful at the same time. One year ago on Feb. 7, 2007 our little Lucy had the flu which turned into encephalitis. Man have we made some big strides. When we brought her home at the end of May, we were really overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with everything. Have to take care of our normally very healthy, active, articulate, and very loving child. Having to do everything for her. Not being able to hear her say I love you, which she did often. Not hearing her laugh , which she did often. Not getting her hugs, which she gave freely and with her whole heart.

Let me give you a little insight on what we are missing (but are getting back, slowly). In preschool everyone called her Smiley, because thats what she did, smile all the time. When she walked into a room she demanded attention, either by announcing that she had arrived or just with her smile. She made everyone she came in contact with feel like they were the most special person in her life. When she was in the hospital, we got cards and letters from people from the school. One card said, Tell Lucy that I miss her hugs, from: The Lunch Lady. Now tell how many kids hug the lunch lady. The janitor/bus driver (not ours, she didn't ride the bus) stopped me when I was at the school one day and he had tears in his eyes saying he missed her and to tell her that he missed her hugs. She had the nack for even making a few kids a little older than her feel special, kids that I found out, that needed to feel special and loved. Her teacher last year (1st grade) told us that she has seen when kids leave or move the kids talk about them for a couple of weeks then they just kind of move one, especially at that age. Not Lucy though, they talked about her all the way through school. She told us that the kids were coming in to class saying they had dreams about her coming to class, all the way to the end of school. When I go to the school for Tman, all the kids from her class last year ask when is she coming back to school and to tell her they miss her so much. She is just one of those kids that touch your heart. I know they all do, but you know how it is. There is just something that reaches out and grabs you and pulls you in. Its a wonderful thing. She is coming back very, very slowly, because I have been really seeing "her" lately. I just can't wait to hear her voice. I just miss "her". She is still here with us, but it's like she is locked inside herself fighting to come out.

Anyway, 2008 is here and its going to be a great year. 2007 sucked big time, 2008 will be great!!!!

Thanks for listening,

Lana

Travel Season

This time of year has been hard on us. B is traveling a lot so the kids miss him. I miss him because it makes me feel like a single mom and I don't like that feeling ( no offence to the single moms out there). Yesterday he left for Las Vegas (for an industry show), so I'm jealous too. He will be there for about 5 days and then he will fly to Oklahoma ( for a get together and hunt). Then on the 9th I will drive up to OK and pick him up and we'll be back on the 10th. Then B will be home for about a 3 week stretch, it will be great. So travel season is just about over.
With Lucy's condition though his absence is felt more that ususal. Because it's flu season so we don't get out, it's cold ..so we don't get out, I would have to get her out all by myself... so we don't get out. I'm still not really used to the reactions and questions, so.... we don't get out. Since we don't get out we get to feeling a little couped up.

Heres to Spring right around the corner.

Lana